Yeah, I know. 2 blog posts in one day. What?!
Well, tis the season of reflection. I figured I'd do this post today because I'll probably forget if I procrastinate any longer. ;)
Here's a recap of how my year went.
-I started the year in a sling after undergoing shoulder surgery and spent a total of 8 weeks using one arm. I learned that things like doing my hair, getting dressed, showering, and carrying textbooks with one arm is not quite as easy as I thought it'd be. Thankfully, my family and friends were so kind and helpful and made sure I didn't struggle too much.
-My second semester of senior year was absolute craziness. I felt like I had no idea what I wanted to do post graduation, I wanted to end my college career with the best grades ever, and I felt so homesick. I battled anxiety almost every day. To be honest, my last semester of college was one of the darkest times in my life. I decided to stop attending chapel and church and felt like my workload made me too busy for God. Thankfully, God never gives up on me though.
-I managed to graduate. It was certainly a joyous occasion. I did it. Now what?
-I moved to Sacramento and began the job hunt. It felt like an endless waiting game. Lots of dead ends and no return phone calls. What was I doing wrong?
-I accepted a job at Berkshire Hathaway Home Services. The job lasted one day after I realized the job and the company weren't going to work out. It was a very chaotic place with absolutely no communication skills and/or organization. No one could tell me who my boss was or what my actual job description was. I wanted it to work out, but sometimes God has a way of firmly shutting a door when He knows there's something better for me.
-I felt even more depressed than I did before. Was I too stupid? Too young-looking? I wanted to cry. In my sadness, God gave me a reminder to cling to Him and His word. I started Bible journaling, doing devotionals, and journaling. I can't say all my problems instantly went away, but I can say God was aways by my side. I was able to experience peace and comfort in uncertainty, and peace from God is the best thing ever. I truly believe God uses pain to remind us of how big He really is. I was able to worship God in my hurt and that's something I never thought was possible.
-6 months after graduating college, I landed a job at the Sacramento Metro Chamber. It's a temporary job until May, but at least it's a positive, exciting, and meaningful place to not just work, but to also network and grow. In one week of work, I have met awesome local leaders, been given feedback on my communications skills, and found great people to work alongside with. The old saying, "Good things come to those who wait" is certainly true. Patience has not been one of my strong suits, but God used the last 6 months to teach me patience in the truest form. It was as if God signed me up for "Patience Bootcamp" and I have grown so much because of it. God needed to kick my butt a little bit in order for me to trust Him more.
-I passed the CBEST. For those of you that don't know what the CBEST is, it stands for California Basic Educational Skills Test. It is necessary for anyone who wants to work as a substitute teacher or school administrator in California. I love working with kids and the idea of making school a place where they can be engaged, have fun, and realize their potential, it so exciting to me. There's always the possibility that I can substitute teach once my current job ends, so I'm not left jobless too long. God provides in His own unique ways, and for that I am very thankful and excited.
This year was tough. There are lots of memories that I wish I could forget or erase. I cried a lot. At the same time, I am so grateful for those dark moments. Those dark moments brought me so close to Jesus and I have felt His arms around me. Jesus carried me when my legs were too weak to walk. No prayer or cry has gone unheard. I have felt His voice tell me every night and every morning, "Chloe, I see you. I hear you. I am with you. You are not alone, my child. I love you." God has been so faithful to me and I don't even deserve it. My heart is overflowing with joy and peace and I know this is just the beginning. God is so good. Even if you think God has left you. I promise you He hasn't. I just wanted to share a bit of my own struggles in hopes that if you're going through similar things, you can be encouraged. Don't give up on God. Don't give up on hope. It may not be instant, but your happy ending will come. Just keep holding on. Stay strong in the faith.
I pray 2018 will be a year that you experience the greatness of our Savior. He is so much bigger than any of our problems. He is Emmanuel- God with us.
Peace and Joy,
Chloe
No comments:
Post a Comment